A Hilarious Pete Shaw Classic from 1990!

When I started and owned The Alpenhorn newspaper so many years ago my wonderful and creative friend, Pete Shaw wrote a column for me each week. Sometimes his stories would be sentimental and beautiful and other times it would be something silly or hilarious or very sentimental. After all these years I still have a lot of my old newspapers and hidden in some of them are his weekly columns. I am hoping to post many of them on this blog so enjoy, enjoy, enjoy!

“I guess I’m confused about fashion. I was watching the CNN channel the other day and they were covering a fashion show from Paris. I was about to flip past the channel the other day and they were covering a fashion show from Paris. I was about to flip past the channel when a group of models came down the runway (I guess that’s what you call it) dressed in jackets that had shoulder pads wider than most NFL linebackers usesse. Their hats looked like they had raided the costume department of robo-Cop and they were wearing metallic slacks.

I suppose that beneath the costumes were beautiful international models but someone had done a good job of disguising them.

They looked like they had walked down a ramp from the cosmic saucer that had just arrived from Nirvanland in the Freaknoid galaxy. Can you imagine knocking at the door to meet a blind date and have her appear in those duds? “Hi, I’m Art, Fred’s friend. Very nice to meet you.” “I cannot shake your hand. it could result in a severe electrical shock.”

“Oh, sorry. Well, are you ready?”

“I must polish and buff my slacks, change the batteries in my hat and inflate my shoulder pads.”

“Oh well, don’t dress up too much. I was thinking we’d just go grab a taco and….”I’ve already eaten. I just finished a tin foil salad.”

“Ooookay…well…..(I’m gonna kill Fred!)”

“What did you say?” Oh, I said we can go somewhere else instead.”

Who designs this stuff anyway? I understand many high fashion designers are men. did they have bad relationships with mothers, aunts and kindergarten teachers? Are they “getting even” or what? I’m sure I’ve offended some people with my comments but I guess I’m just confused.

Speaking of fashion, I went down to buy some shorts the other day and they were on sale because all the cloths for the fall were soon coming out. Summer vacation hasn’t even started yet.

I swear, these fashion people can’t even get the seasons right.

I know what it is, they hate Mother nature, too!







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